A response to ambiguous job postings (on HN).
I’m not terribly proud that I’ll be adjacently joining the “HN recruitment post haters group,” but I don’t get the ambiguous hiring posts on HN. I don’t have any statistics to prove the effectiveness (or my implied ineffectiveness) of these posts, but I sincerely wish they would be more real and result in better candidates and success.
I saw this one today…
http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3968329
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We have very ambitious plans for 2012 and we need your help.
We’re using mobile technology to reinvent the way people shop offline. Since launching late last year, we’re already processing thousands of dollars a day in transactions. In addition, we get thousands of emails from customers who rave about our product.
As an Account Executive, you’ll work with our dynamic and fun sales team to rapidly expand our footprint nationwide. You’ll learn how to sell - a skill that most people want, but don’t possess. And you’ll push yourself like you’ve never before.
Why You Should Join
* You will learn a ton about sales and how startups work
* You will make a meaningful impact by helping us build a lasting company
* You will have incredible growth potential within the company as we scale
About Us
* Experienced team of Stanford, MIT and Princeton alumni with experience at Facebook, Groupon, Box and Morgan Stanley
* Closed a large round of funding from top-tier venture capital firms and angel investors
* Currently based in Palo Alto, CA
Email us at ycmobilecommerce@gmail.com. Please include your resume and tell us why we should hire you.
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I don’t know the company. I don’t know what they do. I just know I’ll be selling stuff and I might be able to get promoted.
What if it’s just the 3 founders and me? Do I get to go for the CEO position? (I guess this IS the case if this was Yahoo! *zing*).
I know recruiting is hard because I’ve tried it - finding that clarity of work and alignment have been really good at self selecting employees that ‘fit.’
What kind of response was the post above looking for? I’ve put my equivalent response below.
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I have very ambitious plans for 2012 and I need a job.
I’m using my brain and charisma to reinvent the way that companies get shit done.
Since being born in 1987 I’ve been alive for fucking 24-years, man. People, especially my parent’s friends, rave about me and say I should get more girlfriends.
As an account executive at your company I expect to sell things and get a meaningful amount of compensation and stake in your company since I do that thing called, wait for it - drive your bottom line revenues - to actually justify your valuation, or whatever. Oh, and I’ll push myself, thanks. Just because I’m on a plane doesn’t mean I should be the pilot and fly. I could be a steward and hand out drinks and shit. In fact, that sounds much more fun.
Why I should join
- Potentially I could use the money I earn to make a keep and not join another company
- I could get promoted in a company and make my way up the chain, only to have the entire thing fail (potentially, right?)
- I could teach the other people how to do sales at a startup, whooo!
About me (finally, I was tired talking about you)
- Experienced singular human; Berkeley alumni with experience at Google, 500 Startups, many bars in the general bay area
- Closed many rounds of funding from top tier parents to make it through life
- Currently based in bay area
Email me back at wtfdoesprotectingacompanynamedo@yahoo.com Please include the actual name of your company so I know what the hell I’m wasting my time for, what I am actually selling so I can see if it’s actually a good fit, what you do and why the hell (other than good schools and companies that probably succeeded despite you) I should work for you.
Thanks,
Somebody not looking for a job when it’s presented this way.
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Anyways, maybe this is the rule for these posts on HN. And maybe the talent pool is so vast that these are effective recruiting methods. I suspect that to be the case for non-engineering type positions since not everyone is scrambling for people that can’t commit to github.
